The female teacher with a firm and attractive bottom is a great distraction to the male student. More so if she is in the habit of wearing a tight skirt, or tight pants. Concentration goes right out of the window, and we only lie to ourselves if we pretend to be puzzled by the high failure rate of her male students. The male child has enough to deal with already, without being subjected to this kind of torture.
You will see them, the male students, walking out of class with a bended gait, their pants held in funny positions. There is a game that the students like to play. That is to hold the crotch of another when he least expects it. Imagine then if that were to happen at this moment. Oh wait, there it is happening. What are the odds. The other student pulls back in astonishment. He laughs to diffuse the awkward moment. What a moron. Didn’t his father teach him anything? You are indeed a brave man to offer to another man your man stick just like that, says a voice in my head. It’s tough to be a man, says another voice. I know that voice. Its my father’s voice. One day you will be sitting alone in the toilet and think to yourself, I hated that bastard but I wish I could thank him now, he taught me how to be a man. I am teaching you how to be a man my boy, it’s tough being a man. Your mother is an idiot don’t you see? Women are like that, one day you will understand. You must know how to treat your wife. You must get out of my head you demon! He lingers a bit…ahh there he goes. He’ll be back I know. He will never let me go.
Look at this boys eyes, how red they are, dilated pupils. Is he not the one who made miss Ngcube fall in love with him? Then sent his girlfriend to blackmail her. What cunning! What was miss Ngcube thinking? I guess she wasn’t thinking. Poor woman, how lonely she must have been to resort to such desperation. It was not an act of desperation you say? She gets turned on by being in a position of authority you say? Telling a man what and what not to do. The innocence of youth and a fully functioning sexual anatomy. What a combination. Teenagers scare the shit out of me, says the song. They have sex at a young age, are rebellious and violent. Darken your clothes and strike a violent pose. They still wont leave you the fuck alone. They drink, they smoke, get high and pissed, and cant tell the difference between their rectum and their fucken septum. The ignorant bastards will ruin your looks I tell you. Like they ruined Mr Mabe’s looks. What was he hoping to achieve, going around biting his thumb at people? You bite you thumb at a hormonal teenage boy he will bite the offending thumb right off. Mr Mabe does not have any thumb to bite at people anymore. He is now like a dog begging for its food. A stray township mgodoi walking around with a hidden tail and shifty downcast eye. Here comes miss Ngcube, places, places people!!
“Veronica, looking good as always. Maan maan maan.”
“Hee hee hee, you flatter me joe.”
“You must be used to such flattery by now.”
“Hee hee hee”
“One of these days you are gonna melt my heart with a laugh like that.”
“Stop it, you are making me blush, hee hee..”
“Listen to that, the sweet melody, I am getting married here”
“Hee hee hee”
she goes down the corridor to the principals office.
Tap tap, bump bump, the skirt goes up. She pulls it down hastily. Looks back, smiles like a naughty mistress, I die. Opens the door to the principals office, his grizzly old wrinkly veterans face acquires life, sweet glorious life. The door closes. Sigh. Some guys are lucky, a wise man once said. Miss Ngcube deals only in extremes, la automata de pendulum, the hopeful young brats, and the jaded old geezers. The ben 10, and the benedict 1001.
The grade 8 trip, what a scene that was. Miss Ngcube vomiting in the toilet, the old geezer standing on the door.
“Veronica, dearie, are you alright?
“What’s going on?”
“Oh, Joe, I did not see you there”
He stares at me like an artful dodger who is not so artful at dodging.
Choke, cough cough of a dying woman cough. Slump.
“Veronica! Talk to me. It must have been something she ate. Curses, a dreadful thing, a stomach bug Joe”
Indeed quite dreadful. I saunter away, leave the old man with his young charge. That klipdrift miss Ngcube brought is not going to drink itself. I can see the old man now. Supporting a clearly inebriated trying so hard to hide it miss Ngcube into the bus.
“There there, easy now.”
The young snorts giggling under their seats, eyes full of mirth.
“One of our teachers was drunk today”
“Good good, very good”
Slumps off in a sulk, seen but not heard. Remember on that day, they will one day say. Laugh and laugh at the antics of grown-ups. I am grown old too. Look how tall I am. I feel like such a child.
“Not going to class today Joe?”
“Right behind you Mabe.”